Fists of Fury

This is surreal.  I’m on my way to Lancaster to interview Tyson Fury – the current British and Commonwealth Heavyweight Boxing Champion.  With Britain’s reputation in this division at an all time low, can this hungry young fighter rescue us from complete obliteration within the realm of the Heavyweights?  Well folks, I’m about to find out...  

I’m due to meet Fury at his home from home – a caravan parked in his Uncle Hughie’s yard, situated next to his very own boxing gym.  Truth be told I have no idea what to expect and if I’m honest, am a little worried. 

You see, I’ve read all about Tyson’s gypsy upbringing and am well aware that fighting is in his very blood.  I’ve also read about Tyson’s Dad, who’s currently in prison for gauging out a man’s eye with his bare finger (yes, you heard, his FINGER).  So yup, I’m fairly scared.  I mean what if he’s got a dog?  A big fat gypsy dog that mauls me to death.  Balls.  Maybe this is a bad idea?       

I arrive at the main house, take a deep breath and knock on the door.  No barking.  Result. 

I am quickly shown to the caravan where Tyson stays and am then introduced to his family.  It soon becomes apparent that I need not worry, they are all lovely.  His gorgeous wife (Paris) busies herself in the kitchen and his two year old daughter (Venezuela) plays quietly as I sit down with her Daddy and ask him about punching people’s lights out.

Talking the talk...

‘I really believe that when it’s my time to fight for the World title,’ Tyson Fury takes a moment and pauses for effect ‘I will cause so much damage and uproar, that the world is going to go crazy.  It is my destiny to become the Champion of the World.’  That’s fairly big talk for a young lad raised in a caravan in Manchester.  But then again, at 6 foot 9 inches and 18 stone, big talk is somewhat fitting.  Fury gained his title following a comfortable defeat over former champ Derek Chisora earlier this year.  He remains undefeated, having triumphed against Nicholas Firtha just last month.  He’s got fire in belly, fighting in his blood and he means business. 

Son of John ‘The Gypsy’ Fury…

These days his home from home is the caravan stood next to one of his two gyms.  Separated from other travellers, it allows Tyson to get his head down and provides him with much greater focus.  A situation that is actually somewhat familiar to him - ‘when we grew up, we never really lived on a big site or went around with much travellers to be honest.  We were really isolated from them until I got married basically.’  He informs me that he had a traditional wedding, but that there was nothing big or fat about it. 

Tyson’s father, John Fury, built up a reputation as a bare knuckle fighter, so I’m keen to find out if he too cut his teeth on the streets?  The answer is absolutely not. ‘I wouldn’t be interested in bare knuckle fighting.  I’m a high performance athlete, yeah?  In professional sports.  So for me to go down to bare knuckle fighting on the streets is just nonsense really.’  Tyson is only interested in boxing, not fighting - clearly two different things in his mind.  ‘To be honest, I’ve not had a fight outside the boxing ring in my life.  And that’s hard [to believe] coming from me, isn’t it?  But I’ve never had a fight.  The area I grew up in wasn’t like a rough area.  And most of the time I’ve been in the gym, I’ve been a boxer, so I kept out of trouble thank God.’ 

Big man, big ambitions…

The heavyweight division, particularly in this country, is in a sorry state.  And with Tyson admitting to only starting a serious training regime recently (despite having been professional for 3 years) it’s easy to understand why.  His lifestyle of partying, eating junk and drinking took a dramatic turn on 19^th December 2010, when Tyson saw the replay of his fight with Zack Page.  ‘I looked in outrageous shape, like, I looked disgusting, it was horrible.  In boxing, if you look in bad shape, people criticise you for being out of shape - rather than your actual strength and the fact that you’ve won.’  Since then, he’s adopted an entirely different approach and is certainly a man with a plan.  And a very grand plan it is too. 

‘The Klitschkos ain’t very far away to be honest, so I’m absolutely taking it deadly serious.  Me diet’s 100% and I’ve got everything I need now [points to his gym].  For my last fight I was in good shape and I keep getting better all the time.  Now we’ve got the channel 5 deal, this is hopefully gonna build my profile and I’ll be a household name within 18 months.’ By which time, he says he’ll be ready to take on one of the Klitschkos – and win.  But why wait so long?  ‘Professional boxing is a business and I’m a businessman.  I ain’t just gonna fight for a few quid when I could build a big fight up and get paid a lot of money.  It’s all about building big fights and getting the nation behind me.’ 

Of course, by this time it is entirely possible that one, if not both of the Klitschkos will have retired, so isn’t that all a bit of a cop out?  He insists not.  ‘If they’ve retired then good riddance to 'em!  If not, then it’ll be time to unleash the Fury!’  Furthering his bravado, he goes on ‘oh and I’m not going to Germany.  They’ve got to come here because they need me, more that I need them.  They’ve never fought someone so big as me before.  Never fought someone as young and as ambitious as me before.  And have never fought anyone as dangerous as me before.  I believe I can beat any man in the world and it’s just about the right timing.’ 

There’s no business like show business…

Named after the great Mike Tyson, Fury’s love for the fight game has led him to strive for a reputation rivalling the great and the good; ‘Look at Muhammad Ali, look what he done.  Look at Naseem Hamed coming in on his magic carpet.  Look at Mike [Tyson] and the extravagant stuff he’s done.  This is entertainment, show business, it’s not just a sport.  I’m here to entertain the boxing world and the general public.  So I’ll do what I have to do.  If it means coming in on a white horse in me underpants, that’s what I’ll do.’  

During his fight with Chisora he went the distance and won on points, something he’s never done before but is keen to make a habit of, in order to ensure his fights are every bit as entertaining as his entrances.  ‘With the next 5 fights, I’m hoping that I’m not gonna knock anyone out – if they’re there to get knocked out, they will be – but we’re trying to get me some tough opponents to get me ready for these big guys.  There’s nothing better than actually getting the rounds in with dangerous opponents.’  His last fight was won by stoppage, so this strategy has yet to come into effect.  


Regardless, it’s evident that Tyson knows he’s not ready to take on Eastern Europe just yet.

Eye of the tiger…

In order to achieve these dizzy heights, having a gym a mere stone’s throw away comes in mighty handy when trying to focus oneself.  Tyson has a seriously cool set-up.  From the cold concrete floor, to the well-worn speedball, from the rusty weights to the broken mirrors, it is a real boxers gym. There is a leaky roof, which Tyson jokily refers to has his ‘inbuilt cooling system’ and a rugged boxing ring, which dominates the space.  A few miles away in Manchester, he also has a state of the art shiny new gym.  But Tyson prefers it here, ‘I like old-fashioned back street gyms.  Being in an old gym, in a scruffy place is better for me.’  It’s easy to imagine him running up and down the steps of the local town hall, for make no mistake, he is a walking talking Rocky.  In more ways than one. 

The only other thing that Tyson lives for is his family.  It would seem that on this front his plans are equally ambitious.  ‘We’re hoping to get about 10 children in.  Being a gypsy, that’s what travellers do, we have big families.  I think what’s the point in getting married if you’re not going to have any kids?  God’s allowing us to have kids, so we take advantage of it.  That’s what this is for basically.  I’m gonna go as far as I can in boxing and earn as much money as I can to keep all me family in the future.  I’m just gonna give them the opportunities that I never had when I was a child.’

The future’s fast, the future’s Furyous…

So the future’s bright in camp Fury and as yet nobody’s managed to topple Tyson, but is he fearful of defeat?  Far from it, apparently he considers it to be character building. ‘Well I could easily remain an undefeated fighter if I wanted to retire!  But I’m not finished just yet.  Look at all the great fighters, they’ve all lost, sooner or later.  It’s not about if a man loses, it’s how you bounce back from it and what comes next.  Great champions aren’t made from losing one fight and then quitting.  Great champions are made from coming back, from nowhere, to being the great once again.’


Fury definitely embodies an addiction to the sport common to the greats of yesteryear.  Irrespective of the glory he craves, he says ‘I just love boxing.  Some people wanna get in and out quickly, I’ve been doing it all my life.  I don’t know anything else, so I’ll be boxing until I can’t box anymore.  So what’s the next step on his path to glory?  ‘Well, I can’t really say too much, but we have got a big big date, a big surprise coming up in the new year.’   

Not everyone is convinced by Tyson’s plan though and he certainly still has a lot to prove - accusations of poor technique and easy opponents have done him no favours.  Whatever your opinion of him though, you can’t deny that Tyson Fury is entertaining and is just what the sport needs right now - ‘I aint in this just to earn money and to be a boxer, I’m in it to leave a mark in life and for people to remember me for the next hundred years as they do Achilles and all the greats.’  Right then.  Should be interesting.   

Tyson and I in his gym.  I was in my element.  He's so lovely! 

Special thanks to Jide Fadojutimi for the photos.  You're quite simply awesome. x

  

The ultimate challenge has arrived...

I want to introduce you to something that I think might revolutionalise your life.  A big statement I know, so brace yourselves...

I have often searched for a sport that demands of the mind what it seeks from the body.  I'm gaga about golf, dappy about darts and crazy for cricket - I'm even gaining a growing appreciation for F1, but still the mental/strategic elements required in these disciplines doesn't test the brain to its very limits.  I can't be the only one who has thought of this, for lo, last week I learned of something that attempts to fill this gaping void.  Ladies and Gents, I give you Chessboxing.  And I'm not even making it up.

'The basic idea in chess boxing is to combine the number one thinking sport with the number one fighting sport into a hybrid that demands the most of its competitors both mentally and physically.' (World Chess Boxing Organisation).   Jackpot.  I highly recommend that you Youtube the pants off this.  You will not be disappointed.

NEVER let your guard down.

Victor Ortiz is an unlucky man, yet not one I feel sorry for. As expected with a clash of this magnitude, both fighters were as aggressive outside the ring as they were in it. They certainly did justice to prime time boxing, even if it was all over in the fourth.

Had Ortiz payed attention to the recent Khan v Judah fight (you would've hoped he was watching carefully, no?) and the controversy caused by the final decision there, then I expect that he would have refrained from flinging his arms wide and leaving himself open to all manner of mischief. Particularly after dishing out a Tyson-esque head-butt, followed by a kiss. Oo-er.

Nothing dreamy about this team, my friend...

I have not had a fantasy football team since I was at school, I maintain that there are two good reasons for this.  Firstly, upon leaving secondary school (well, all right, before leaving secondary school), I discovered alcohol and boys.  Now, I can categorically confirm that these two activities alone are far more time consuming than one might think.  Secondly, and more to the point, I feared that having a dream team would affect my hopes/superstitions/opinions on what went on daily in the league.

I was right.

I am officially an underdog

How the mighty fall...

If you've read my blog before, you'll know that when England and India face each other, I have quite a dilemma and can therefore be somewhat of a fence sitter.  This time though, things would be different.  I would choose a team at the start of the series and I would support them heart and soul.  I chose... India.  And then England decided to get their shit together.

Regarding this last test, in fairness, we were pretty evenly matched during the first innings.  Broad's hat-trick was a significant turning point and gave a glimpse of the coating that we would receive on Monday.  His destruction of our lower batting order was something that India just never recovered from.  Then in the second innings, England were actually magic.  An impressively skilful batting display (even with Bell's cock up, by the way aren't India nice?) set an almost impossible target.  Balls.

Best of British

I swear that once I've seen the first round of a fight, I can tell you who is going to win. Jammy as I may sound, I was right on both occasions this weekend, so you know, that's basically science right there. Saturday night was everything I wanted it to be; entertaining, dramatic and full of surprises. The winners of both fights (Khan v Judah and Chisora v Fury) were hungry for victory as soon as the bell rang. It was awesome stuff.

Cool, Khan, collected...

  

The second I saw Zab Judah with his top off, I panicked. Not because I swooned or owt, but because he was cut like a mother trucker. He'd clearly taken the prep for this fight very seriously and despite my confidence in the Khan + Roach + Ariza formula, part of me wondered if Zab's experience just might prevail. Then I saw the first round and like I say, I knew differently.

From the off Khan brought the fight to Judah. The bell sounded and a second later Khan was lunging in, letting Judah know that he'd come to play with the big boys. Round 1 - Khan. No contest.

Less BS, more boxing please

Cook gets Burn-ed

This weekend saw Ricky Burns (WBO Super Featherweight Champion) face Nicky Cook at the Liverpool Echo Arena; if you happened to blink in the first round then you'll have been unlucky enough to miss the whole thing. With a clean right hand shot to the body, Burns managed to completely annihilate his evidently injured opponent. 90 seconds later and Cook's corner threw in the towel.

This kind of bollocks really annoys me. Cook has a degenerative spinal conditional, which (whilst obviously awful) in my book renders him unsuitable as an opponent in a title fight. Now that may not be fair, but life, and more specifically boxing, is not fair folks. Of course I admire Cook and his dogged determination, but the reality is that this fight should never have happened.

Thinks aint look too shabby where I'm sat.

In the wake of Haye's defeat, there has been some concern over the future of British boxing. To those casting the damning prognosis, my response is simply this: just you wait for July 23rd. Amir Khan (and his newly reinforced chin) will be kicking off Vegas style against Zab Judah; plus the heavyweight fight of the year (yes, I actually mean that) will be taking place at Wembley between Dereck Chisora and Tyson Fury (his name is Fury!).

It would appear therefore, that the Haye / Klitschko 'panto' was merely a prologue for the main acts of the boxing summer. So, let's have a look at what we can expect from these two epic battles...

All mouth, no Hayemaker...

Anyone who knows anything about boxing will tell you that balance is crucial.  Good connection with the floor and steadiness are the bedrock of proper technique.  So yes, a broken toe is going to bugger things up a bit, if you happen to be boxing in the biggest heavyweight fight of the year.

Going into this bout, I really wanted Haye to win (I thought Klitschko would clinch it though, hence my reluctance to put my moola where my mouth was).  His instinct to blame his injury immediately after losing, shocked me a little and smacked of poor sportsmanship.  Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, in fact I'd quite happily have his babies (I'm a sucker for the guns, what can I say?!).  I just wanted more from someone I respect as much as him.  Haye's since acknowledged that Wladimir was just the better boxer, but he kind of has to say that really, since it's the truth.

Pass me a bucket...

Now, as I write this, Murray is bringing his A game to Nadal and every other sports related tweet I read is about the fight tomorrow.  It is a good weekend for sport.  That said, there's one thing which irks me a little, so I thought I'd share it with you lovely lot.

It's all getting a bit bromanitc for my liking.  McIlroy loves Murray, who loves Haye, who loves him as well etc.  All this patting on the back makes me want to vom.  I think it's great when sports people support one another, but there's a line, and flying back from Hamburg to watch a Wimbledon final, in my book crosses it a bit.

Camaraderie, yes.  Bromance, no.  

There weren't nothin' Calypso about this Cricket

I had the most amazing day on Monday.  I got myself down to the Curzon Cinema, Soho and bought a ticket to a screening of Fire in Babylon - a documentary chronicling the sensational history of West Indian cricket.  Now I'm a sucker for a sports doc, and am fairly easy to inspire, but seeing what this incredible team had to endure really was something else.

'It's a hard, tough, but beautiful sport'

I'm pretty inspired by most professional boxers.  Almost without exception they'll have had to overcome financial and/or personal adversity, demonstrate a level of discipline few of us can begin to understand, and I expect, have a million things tempting them to quit.  But they don't.  They get up at dawn and they work.  Relentlessly.  


One such boxer who epitomised this beautiful, all consuming scenario I've described, was Welsh legend, Howard Winstone.  Aside from possessing a remarkable skill for the sport, his tale is more interesting than most.  In a horrific factory accident, before his professional career had even begun, Winstone lost the tips of three fingers on his right hand.  Now I don't know about you, but losing any of my fingers would definitely stop me doing a fair few things.  Boxing being one of them.  Thankfully, Winstone did not share this mindset.  Undeterred by this seemingly disabling turn of events, Winstone went on to go pro and won 61 of his 67 professional boughts.  Truly epic.


Documenting a story this dramatic seems only fitting, so I'm thrilled that a film (Risen) has been made, capturing the life of this amazing man.  I was lucky enough to have a chat with Stuart Brennan, the actor who's performance as Howard Winstone has just earned him a Welsh Bafta.  Here's what the jammy so and so had to say...

Farcical Idiocy Fishy Antics

Have you heard the one about F.I.F.A?  That's it - that's the gag.  It's all a complete joke.  Blatter is apparently 'deeply moved' at being 'reelected' and the rest of the world (Benin included) thinks that England is nothing more than a pain in the bum.  I mean, really?

Now I'm not suggesting that David Bernstein should've kept his mouth shut and nodded with the men in suits, but I can't help but feel that his eleventh hour protest was a little ill conceived.  To assume that members of an organisation corrupt to the core, would adjust their plans merely since we say so, is a tad naive. 

Who'd be a football manager?

Time has not been my friend this week.  I've wanted to blog about so much (Degale vs Groves, the PGA Championship, tennis, darts, I could go on) but sadly, until I get paid for my musings on sport, that's just something that I'm going to have to live with.

One thing I will find time to write about though, is my opinion on the utter ridiculousness that was the sacking of Carlo Ancelotti on the last day of the season.  Who in their right mind would want to manage Chelsea now?  Yes the money is lovely, but you also spend a year of your life (more if you're lucky) walking with a metaphorical gun to your back. Nice.  If Mr Abramovich knows so much, then why doesn't he just cut out the middle man and do the job himself? He may as well.

Cue the Benny Hill music...

And so it ends.  It seems that each season becomes more eventful than the last and 2010-11 has been no exception.  We can now look forward to a summer of transfer rumour madness.  Oh joy.

Truthfully though, whilst I think that the lucrative business of buying players is well beyond farcical, I, like the rest of you, find it perversely entertaining.  Possibly because these Sheiks and Oligarchs may as well be chucking around Monopoly money in their game of 'I own a football club, because I can'.

How anyone (and I include the players and agents when I say this) can see any sustainable good in this, really baffles me.  They probably don't give a monkey's about sustainable good though, so therein lies the answer.

I expect that if not this season, then next, we'll see clubs purchasing quality players, simply to prevent other clubs from doing so.  Worrying.  The FA is trying to bring in legislation capping wages in the Premiership.  Too little too late perhaps?  The cynic in me expects that yes, just like bankers and their bonuses, not much will really change.  Let's see what Man City Allstars look like in 12 weeks, eh?

Have fun, play and see what happens...

I love a bit of ESPN Classic.  In fact I'd wager that when combined with with a cheese toasty and a can of diet coke, it is quite possibly the best hangover cure ever.  Bearing this in mind, it’s no wonder that I couldn't wait for the cinema release of From the Ashes - the documentary recounting the epic 1981 series in which England dramatically defeated Australia.  I was not disappointed.

In truth, I never really fully understood why Beefy is so revered, but I do now.  Put simply, he was pretty bloody awesome.  At the age of 24 he managed to defeat an impressive Australian side in spectacular fashion.  During the pivotal test at Headingley, he said that his aim was to ‘have fun, play and see what happens.’  Which is surely what sport is all about, no?

Legend

My thoughts are with the Ballesteros family at this deeply sad time.

I'm only just learning exactly how profound Seve Ballesteros's influence was in the golfing world. I fully intend to read his autobiography as soon as I can get my hands on one, I'm sure it'll be extraordinary.

I remember being greatly inspired when I heard him talk so humbly about the treatment he had received.  You can just tell that some people are good.  Rest in peace.

Better late than never - Khan touch this!

Dammit, I was in Buenos Aires when Khan fought McCloskey and was too busy guzzling the Malbec to blog about it.  I was particularly looking forward to posting, since in the run up to the fight, I'd thought of the best pun of all time - see above.  I'm disappointed that it wasn't quite the thriller the Maidana fight was, but that's the way things go I guess.

British boxing is in a good place right now, not least with the announcement of the Haye/Klitschko bought, now definitely going ahead on 2nd July.  I cannot wait for this!  The Haye camp must've doubled their efforts to get the fight to materialise particularly in light of the Harrison farce.  This is obviously THE challenge that everyone's been waiting for and I for one look forward to seeing David (we're on first name terms) smash it.

Yesterday was a strange day...

(Written 12/04/11) I can't pretend that this is not a surreal day.  I'm sat outside Eva Peron's Casa Derosa in Buenos Aires, reading Freddie Flintoff's autobiography and drinking juice.  I fully appreciate the complete randomness of this situation.

Earlier today, my good friend Stephen Fry (you can't prove that's a lie) tweeted something which caught my interest.  Apparently, this Spring will see the first ever live streaming of a village cricket match.  Now I think this is brilliant, and not just because I'm from sticksville either.  The money-men have ruined so much of what's good in sport, and I think that embracing local events in this forward thinking way will be nothing but a good thing.  I've got no allegiance to the team of Wray, but I'm keen to see how this goes and if it takes off...

At least one number 9 is scoring!

I'm a bad fan.  I was too busy eating a fat Argentinean steak to watch the whole of the Liverpool vs City match.  Fortunately the beauty of technology meant that I was kept up to speed.  What a lovely result against a 'top 4 club' eh?  It was made all the lovlier by the fact that a certain number 9 is now hitting his stride.  

I know that this is childish, but that number 9 shirt just doesn't work in blue, does it? - http://hastorresscoredforchelsea.com/  

Now, please excuse me, I'm off to do so tango.  Like I say, this is a surreal day...

Dhoni know how to finish with class.

Is it a bird, is it a plane?  
WOW.  What a final.  India vs Sri Lanka was every bit as entertaining as I had hoped.  It was a fine way to end what has been an remarkable and gripping World Cup.  It goes without saying that I jumped about like a loon when India won.  Terrific!  Granted, I'd have like to see Tendulkar get his 100th hundred on such a wonderful occasion, but you can't have everything.  Dhoni's classy finish was most gorgeous and apt in every way.

A few weeks ago, I got sent this picture.  Even though it wasn't the Tendulkar show yesterday, he epitomises Indian cricket, so I thought it only fair to share.

I really feel as if we're entering a new era with cricket – a few legends are leaving the world stage, which inevitably opens many doors for new talent.  This World Cup was the last international tournament in which Sri Lanka's famous 3 M's will play together,  Ponting's captaincy has come to an end (tee hee) and I don't suppose that Super Sachin will be featuring as prominently for too much longer.  I’m keen to see what the future holds and hoping that England start working some miracles...  

The master plan.

There was a college basketball coach in the 60’s and 70’s named John Wooden.  His record at the helm was more than impressive, and for a number of seasons his team went undefeated.  Interestingly, while he was responsible for such success, he NEVER talked about winning.  I heard him say something about sport (and life) that really stuck with me.  He said 'all we can do is have faith that as long as we do what we're supposed to, then things will turn out the way they are supposed to turn out'.

I thought of this yesterday when Roy Hodgson's West Bromwich team served Liverpool up a 2-1 defeat.  I can't help but feel there's sometimes a certain element of fate/karma in the way things unfold in sport.  We couldn't call for Roy's dismissal quick enough could we?  But now look at how he's improving West Brom.  It all points to a quality that's distinctly lacking in the modern game – patience.  

I'm 100% in favour of the effect that Dalglish has had on us this season, so I'm not suggesting that I wish Roy had stayed.  There's just an irony to it which I find interesting.  Even if we did lose.

A Real shame.
Yesterday was also notable for a certain 'Special One'.  An undefeated home record had to end sometime, didn't it?   Poor Jose.  Personally, I'd have been miffed at falling one season short of the decade mark, so I expect that he'll have been irked by this too.  Shoddy I tell you, just shoddy. ;-)

You'd do well to watch this Sir Alex.
If you can make time to watch this clip of John Wooden then I'd advise that you did so.  I doubt Alex Ferguson will be giving a talk like this at the end of his career.  This man is class, pure class.

Armband relay

Act Two - Who will wear the armband?
England's positive performance yesterday in an ideal world would have marked the start of a less ridiculous phase than we've encountered in recent weeks.  But we don't live in an ideal world do we?  No.  And lo, today we read that Capello must chose another England captain, since Terry has 'been allowed to return to his club Chelsea' ahead of the Champions League.  Now don't get me wrong the Chelsea v United match is obviously important, but I can't be the only one who thinks it's bonkers that the captain of the English football team is having to miss a match.  No wonder fans are more enthused by club football than their national side?  This reaffirms that it's all a bit of a joke.  What an insult to the Ghanaian team.

For the record my vote goes to Jack Wilshire, who's name I've read as a suggested candidate.  He was again brilliant yesterday.  I'm pleased that England were able to dance so beautifully, it was an excellent confidence boost which went a little way to restore my faith.  (Although it's worth mentioning that I am an idiot and it doesn't take much - typical for an England fan though, I think.)  I'm both relieved and sorry that Bale didn't play, it would have undoubtedly made things more interesting.

Anyway, I'd like to hope that Tuesday's match is not going to be uneventful. Whilst I doubt that Terry, Rooney et al will bother to watch, I'll be there like a stupid housewife who stands by her less than faithful man.

Bibitus! It'll put you in a good mood.

Bye bye Europe, it's been nice knowing you.
So we're out of Europe.  Not just the Champions League, but the WHOLE of Europe.  Thursday was one of the most painful days in what has been an emotional roller coaster of a season.  Carroll had two promising headers, but his European debut was ultimately forgettable.  We missed Suarez.  I missed Suarez.  Today's result against Sunderland (we won 2-0), is again evidence of the difference he makes.  I just hope that we don't end up in the all too familiar situation of being a one man team.  I'm sure we wont, since this pairing looks promising, but you can't blame me for being anxious.

Show me the money
You'd be a foolish fan to expect your newest signings to instantly score goals willy nilly - as any Chelsea fan will know ;) - but I'm ready now.  I'm really ready to see what this Carroll chap can do.  He's allegedly one of a kind, I do hope that this is the case.  At the risk of putting all my eggs in Carroll and Suarez's respective baskets, now is the time for them to step up, if we're to get 5th.

Ha!  Even I can't take that seriously.  Balls. We're screwed, no matter how good they are.

Madness I tell thee...

The sky is literally falling down all over the show, which is of great concern to me.  Why is this relevant?  Well, recently, I've been obsessing over the tracking stats of this blog and the response that it might get etc.  The global unrest, whilst by no means a new concept, has really resonated with me recently and I am reminded that, actually, noting my musings on this little page need not become an obsession.  My thoughts are with those whose world is being turned on it's head and it has made me all the more grateful that I am in a position to write about something I love.  So, on I go...

First up, Jens (tee hee) Lehmann (hahahahahaaaaa)  
I can hardly believe that this has happened.  Yes the man is an Arsenal legend.  Yes, the Gooners have had a slim pickin's on the goalie front for sometime.  But this is just bonkers, no?  Lehmann's age isn't an issue for me, like it is for some - if he does the job then fine.  I just think that this is the most hilarious turn of events, not least because the guy is crazy.  If you need proof, then just watch this video, it's brilliant! (Keep the sound down unless you like crazy house music.)  Word on the street is that Liverpool are resigning Rush.  Why not?

Time for a quick one...

Again, it's been a packed couple of days, there's so much to talk about and I've got no time! It'll be a quick one, so let's start at home...

Kyrgiakos, you wally... 
Following our battering of United last weekend, I was hoping that we'd be on the up and our form would continue when we faced Sporting Braga.  I should know better.  An epic fail from our Greek defender saw us go one down before half time.  Not good.  It's not just Kyrgiakos's fault though - we were generally on the back foot for most of the match, it was most disheartening.  The only glimpse of encouragement was that things improved slightly with the appearance of big money Carroll.

It's fair to say that we're seriously lacking consistency, but hopefully that will come.  The boys will have had a nice little rest thanks to the FA Cup fixtures this weekend, so I'm sure we'll come back firing in time for the second leg on Thursday.  Fingers crossed!

Come on Arsen... Nope, can't do it.

As I write this, Tottenham have just knocked AC Milan out of the Champions League.  Who'd have thunk it eh?  I've had one eye on the match and another on my work, so I don't really feel able to write about it properly.  Suffice to say that the goalless draw will have elated all those pesky Spurs fans no end.  I'm obviously just jealous.  What I really want to talk about though, is the epic goings on of yesterday.

Heavens to Betsy it was a bit sensational wasn't it?!  My feeling as a Liverpool fan was simple.  I wanted Arsenal to lose, because I need them to up their focus in the League and win that (anyone, anyone but Manchester United), so I was chuffed to bits with the result. Barcelona really were phenomenal and that Messi goal was, well, pretty darn tidy I'd say (ba-dum-boom-ch).

6th March shall henceforth be know as Sweet Sunday

Pinch me, for this is too good to be true.
Did I dream that?  I've waited up to watch all the highlights shows, so I'm pretty sure that Liverpool beat Manchester United (3-1!) and also that England managed to turn around a result against South Africa in the ODI!  Amazing.  Throw in some brunch with cocktails (#Drunch) and that's basically the sweetest Sunday I've had in a long while.

A force to be reckoned with.
He's only gone and done it.  King Kenny has managed in two months what we've struggled to achieve for two seasons - we now have an attacking set up that doesn't depend solely on one man.  Gorgeous.  Today was demonstrative of a well organised, passionate team, who for once were not severely lacking in any areas. We looked well put together, aggressive, solid.  We looked like a top four club.

The Luck of the Irish and the Sulkiness of the Scots (well one Scot in particular)

So I've not been able to post all day, mainly due to my life getting in the way.  I'll be quick, since I ought to sleep at some point. 

Chelsea vs Utd

Before the match, I wasn't really sure what I wanted the result to be.  If Chelsea lost, then we maybe, just maybe had a shot at getting a top four position.  If Utd lost, well then Arsenal are closer to the top spot and Alex Ferguson doesn't get to over take our 18 League title wins ( I swear that's the main reason he's still hanging around).  Having heard his reaction to the Ref's decisions, I have to say that I'm 100% glad that Chelsea won.  In fact I hope they win the League and knock the wind out of Fergie's sails and the gum out of his mouth.  

It's my bloggy and I'll rant if I want to...

I touched on this briefly yesterday, but I have to talk about the elephant in the room that is Ashley Cole.  I read that Ancelotti said Cole ‘made a mistake, and who hasn't made a mistake in his life?’  Hang on a sec, made a mistake?!  This morning I put my milk in the cupboard and my cereal in the fridge - that’s a mistake.  Ashley Cole SHOT SOMEONE for f*@k’s sake.  Granted, it was only an air rifle and apparently he didn’t think it was loaded, but come on!  

Evidently, premiership footballers can do what they ruddy well like without any consequences.  Rooney can foul someone in front of an official, DJ Campbell can ‘shove someone in the face‘. It’s all right.  Why?  Because they’re ‘passionate’.  I mean, what?  Evidently there is some confusion over the actual definition of this word, because otherwise, I really don’t see how they’re getting away with it.  Trust me, I love an exciting sports personality as much as the next fellow, but that really is the biggest load of bollocks.

To say that this pussy footing around talent is confined to football, is sadly not the case.  Just look at what happened to the Pakistani cricket players in the recent match fixing shenanigans.  It’s disheartening to see that when it comes to laying down the law, there’s an unhealthy mix of cowardice and corruption which seems to continuously prevail.  Boo.

Not wanting to end with a rant  

One thing I am enthused by is the positive reception that Steve Davies has had to his coming out.  I’m sure that the Aussies will have an opportunistic sledge or two, but I’ve only read about his bravery and the support of his fellow team mates.  Part of me thinks that we ought to be beyond this kind of thing making news by now.  It’s 2011.  Then again, we have only just had that whole Sian Massey controversy, so I guess that’d be a little optimistic/naive of me.  


Fortunately this development will only help to move things in the right direction.  Bravo I say.

Drama, drama, drama...

Christ alive, I’ve been gagging to write all day but I’ve had my pesky day job to deal with.  Grrrrr.

What a weekend eh?!   There’s about a million things I want to talk about, but technically I’m still at work, so I’ve got to keep it quick.

Okay, so we know how I feel about England winning the rugby - flamin' marvellous it was.  Although, I have been pulled up by one of my friends who rightly pointed out that if you’re not ‘pooped’ by the end of a match, then you’ve not being playing hard enough.  Fair point.  Although, there’s a difference between giving it your all and playing catch up.  I maintain that we need more to make an impact at the World Cup.

Next to my prediction of Arsenal vs Birmingham.  I did not see that coming!  I am most thrilled though, let me tell you. Not least since it allows me to post gems like this…

That’s what I love about finals, everything is at stake and anything could happen.  Liverpool have been involved in two epic finals (obviously the Champions League and ironically, in light of yesterday’s performance, against West Ham), so I know the feelings of euphoria that the Birmingham fans will have experienced in that 89^th minute.   

A weird part of me actually feels bad for Wenger, the little manager that could.  I look forward to reading yet more interviews where he is asked if he feels the pressure to win a tournament, and where his answer will be something to the tune of “but of course it is important to focus on ze next game and to get ze tree points, blah,blah, blah.” (Sarcasm fully intended.)

Arsenal’s keeper issue has only fuelled rumours linking Pepe Reina to the club.  Well I don’t need to tell you where you can stick that info.  Although, in truth, if he has to go this summer, then Arsenal is a lesser evil than Chelsea in my book.

Then there was the Cricket.  Ahhhh, the cricket.  As a British Asian, I never know whether to support England or India.  And with cricket like that, well, I don’t have to make a choice now do I?  Okay, so very little about me is actually Indian, but it’s difficult to detach yourself when a. they are awesome and b. they remind me of my Pops.  He’s not dead or anything, he just really likes Indian cricket!  Fortunately, they both played brilliantly, with Tendulkar setting the bar high and Strauss totting up an epic score.  I’m happy as Larry with that, really I am.  More of the same please, either way I’m a winner!

I’ve been putting it off, but it’d be poor form for me not to talk about West Ham’s 3-1 battering of my beloved Liverpool.  It’s worth pointing out that this is our first loss in 9 games, so things could be (and have been) much worse.  It’s the lack of consistency that we’re really going to have to remedy next season.  We just cannot fluctuate so drastically from one extreme to another.  Hopefully when our new signing is match fit, we’ll see a difference.  We better had for that kind of money! 

Lastly, I have to make a mention if the fact that Ashley Cole has shot someone.  I’m not sure what else I can say to convince you that this man is actually ridiculous, if that doesn't do the job then nothing will.  You honestly couldn't invent this stuff!  Bonkers.

Right, better do some work… 

Hey Bobby, what's French for busy weekend?

Job's a goodun
I've been slacking on the rugby front of late, so England vs France was not a match I intended to miss.  Having demonstrated a fairly good performance in the Six Nations so far, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that this was the test where we'd have to prove ourselves the most.

Arguably, the first half was somewhat dull.  However, at about 50 minutes in, things started to heat up and for a little while at least, I was reminded why I should take the time to watch more rugger.  Wilkinson's first 10 minutes gave pangs of 2003 nostalgia and for the first time I got properly excited about the challenges we face in the World Cup.

Bottom line, yes we got the job done.  But if we're really going to make an impact in September then we must up our game (and then some).  We were quite clearly pooped by the end and definitely need to be in control, more so than we were yesterday.  That's not to say it can't be achieved, it's just going to take an almighty effort, and of course, a little bit of luck.

Tenuous link alert!
From one battle involving the French, we turn today to another. In a matter of hours, it's the Carling Cup final.  Well smack my ass and call me Genevieve, the Gooners have a shot at silverware.  Oh joy.  (For the purposes of this blog and the convenience of Arsenal fans, the Carling Cup does count as Silverware.)  Much as it would please me for Brum to win,  they're not going to.  Dammit.

Arsenal were simply far too sexy to watch when they met Barcelona last week. A match at Wembley is only going bring our more of their va-va-voom - regardless whether they have Cesc and Theo in the mix or not.

Talk to any Arsenal fan and their second or third sentence will see them venting frustration at the lack of trophies achieved in recent times.  To be honest, I wish they'd just shut up.  I speak as a bitter Liverpool fan of course and these days I'd be happy enough just playing in the Champions League, let alone winning anything!

Seriously though, I'm not going to kid myself that winning doesn't matter.  It's just these days, when money is increasing the turbulence of the league, there's something to be said for the stability that Wenger has cultivated at The Emirates.  He's hardly spent any money, they have a sound squad and he's kept them in the top 4. It's certainly something I wish Benitez had done.

Am I jealous?  Youbetcha.  Come on Birmingham!!!!!

At the end of the day it's the goal that Kuyts!

Match 
Yesterday saw the almighty clash of *ahem*, Liverpool and erm, Sparta Prague.  Not wanting to miss out on any action packed sporting prowess, I secured myself a neat little bar stool in Cafe Kick - an amazing little bar in Exmouth Market.  Not only do they show the footy, but they have 2 fooseball tables, tapas, South American music and an impressive range of cocktails and beers to boot.  If ever a place was designed for my liking, then this is it!


The match was pretty evenly balanced for the majority and it took until the 86th minute for Liverpool to set themselves apart.  Dirk Kuyt headed in a corner from Miereles, an apt reward for yet another wholehearted performance.  Someone I was watching the game with, compared Kuyt to an eager puppy and I totally agree.  He frequently has a poor first touch, but he works about a million times harder than everyone else on the pitch, hence his results.  I always thought that our best striker would’ve been somone combining Kuyt's work ethic with Torres’ skill.  Ahh, to dream.


Kit
This morning I was sent an email (at 8:02am to be precise) from my good friend and fellow wannabe Scouser, regarding our new away kit.  I’ve never been a fan of the yellow monstrosities that we tend to opt for, so I actually quite like it.  I realise this is an unpopular opinion, but a. it’s mine and b. it’s only an away kit!  

Cricket
My morning commute became joyous, the moment I had The Sport magazine shoved into my hand.  I did the same thing I do every week, head straight for Simon Caney’s column.  This week he spoke about ODI Cricket, saying that the format adopted for the World Cup is slow, dated and dull.  I'm inclined to agree. 5 day tests are there to satisfy the traditionalists and 20/20 matches add pace and entertainment to the sport.  It’s natural then that this 50 overs malarky would end up being a bit pointless.  Nevertheless I hope that we, and by we I mean England or India (it’s totally my perogative), do well. Good luck lads.

Talking the talk v walking the walk!

Today I finished reading Manny Pacquiao's autobiography, PacMan.  If you haven't read it, do, I assure you that it's insanely epic.  Tales of his childhood, good heart and work ethic, combine to form of one of the most inspiring books I've ever read.  In fact, Pacquiao's story is the reason that I've started writing this.  If aged 12 an impoverished Manny Pacquiao can run barefoot on rocks to become a boxer, well then I can drum up the gumption to actually do some of the things I've always wanted to.  Et voila, welcome to my blog.

With the pending Khan fight, I've been thinking about boxing A LOT recently.  I'm thrilled that 'King Khan' is showing that he's not 'all mouth no chin'.  (Although, real Khan followers would insist that he's always had a chin, we're only just noticing it, yaddah yaddah.)

This delightful development means that regardless of a Haye/Klitschko bout, the spotlight will be firmly on British boxing for the immediate future at least.  I met Khan pre the Maidana fight and he told me that he had done some training with Pacquiao.  That and the fact that he's still training under Freddie Roach, fill me with every confidence that he's got the right idea about what he wants to execute and how to go about it.

I'm trying my damnedest to get some kind of interview with him (by which I mean I sent him an email yesterday) to substantiate that this is the case.  Fret not, my Mumma didn't raise no fool - I know that the odds of me actually achieving that are slim to not a shot in hell.  But hey, it's worth a punt right?!  Like I say if Manny ran on rocks...

Talking of walking the walk, I'd like to leave you with this.  It amused me immensely.

Lucky Number 7!

The future's bright, the future's red.  

I'm completely obsessed with watching footage of Raheem Sterling - Liverpool's 16 year old wonder-kid.  He's the talk of the town right now and rightly so.  Whilst the Premiership has been infinitely entertaining this season, I have had a feeling of impending doom with regards to the future of my beloved LFC.  Until now that is.

Seeing this kind of home grown talent enthuses me no end.  Perhaps I'm being naively optimistic and blindly loyal, but this kid (and his ability to dance with the ball) have restored my faith in the mighty Pool.   Maybe we will win the league next season after all, eh?! ;-)  

If you haven't seen him, then I'd advise that you do so now.  Prepare yourself for a little bit of awesome:



I don't like Andrew Strauss, oh no... I love him!

Watching interviews with Andrew Strauss last night made me appreciate how grateful I am for articulate sports people, who are able to admit when things just aren't good enough.  The fact that he's openly vented his frustration is strangely pleasing.  I'd much rather that than be fobbed off, which happens all too frequently for my liking.  Our boys have said that they need to improve their one day form, especially in light of the recent series down under, and I for one look forward to seeing how they develop their form in this World Cup!


In other news

Yesterday there was a documentary on the beeb about Caster Semenya.  I'd never heard her speak before, have to admit, I was a little shocked.  I don't know the ins and outs of the case, but it seems that all she wants to do is run.  That kind of passion, that makes you continue against all adversity, is something that I will never cease to admire.